But there is another sort of cost involved in holding back the easy instinctive response and checking that you are genuinely doing something for the sake of long-term building or healing.
What they Shared was the same instinctive responses to the attack on the twin towers and all that followed.
My confidence would swell each time I convinced myself a girl was attractive – and it would crater whenever a guy provoked a much stronger, more instinctive response.
The instinctive response to being approached rapidly is to freeze.