Once you know that the bread must be toasted packet white, the bacon smoked, the lettuce Iceberg, the tomato beefsteak and the mayo Hellmann's then even the most hopeless tyro can't go wrong.
If you're a pescatarian, open your eyes wide and take in the glory of this pie which is layered with beets, mayo, potatoes, diced hard boiled eggs and, of course, herring.
They slip and slide down frozen walkways past dilapidated Soviet structures. They subsist on cafeteria food slathered in mayo.
Use squeeze bottles for the mustard and mayo so the bread does not get soggy.
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